This Week’s Horoscopes
Aries: Ram on Aries. You need to be on the lookout for the obvious. As tempting as it may seem to regard your misfortunes and shortcomings as the result of cosmic events happening at a great distance from your immediate sphere of influence, take a moment to appreciate the situation you are in and consider taking small steps of your own to better your lot.
Taurus: Good for you Taurus, this is the week for you to get to grips with the phenomenon of causality. If you apply your mind and follow through on the logical consequences of your actions, you stand a good chance of not being fooled by those who might exploit your more trusting nature.
Gemini: Keep an eye on yourself this week. With Mercury on the other side of the Sun right now, and Jupiter nowhere to be seen, they will offer you no help. This is a perfect opportunity to do something for yourself. You might find yourself wondering if there are things you can do to address problems you might have. That's a great start. Where will you go from here? I don't know, I'm an astrologer.
Cancer: You have a strong tendency to hold onto things. You know that, because you've read it in so many columns. Now all you need to do is relax your pincers and let go of the columns you've been reading and there's every chance that solutions will present themselves.
Leo: It's time to strike out and make the necessary changes in your life today. Seize the moment and do what thou wilt Leo. The current planetary alignments mean absolutely nothing to you at this time, what is called for right now is action on your part, rather than guidance from without. Think. be practical.
Virgo: Virgoans, this is it. The only thing you should focus on this week is the task at hand, anything else would be foolish as the planets are where they are and there is nothing you or anyone else will be able to change about that. It's freedom for you this week, so live it as best you can.
Libra: Librans, your week is likely to be dominated by problems that you might be equipped to deal with here on earth. There may be problems you cannot deal with this week but maybe you will resolve those ones in the coming months. It's up to you. Some of the things that worry you aren't really even your concern, and it would do no good to hope that they will resolve themselves on account of planetary movement this week.
Scorpio: Good luck with all the decisions you will have to make this week, Scorpios. Your life is your own and no one can live it for you. It makes no actual difference to you whether far away astral bodies are or are not in alignment relative to where you stand this week. Take that as a good sign and move on.
Sagittarius: This is an important week for you archers. This is the week you go about your business without thought as to the comings and goings of the heavenly host. The solar system is vast and life is short. Recognise this and try to differentiate between events that affect you and those that don't.
Capricorn: You Capricorns are usually described by astrologers as steady climbers. Let's prove those charlatans right for a change and show them that you can actually rise above your dependence on phoney nonsense to make your life choices. This is not a game, it's your life. You can't entrust yourself to people who don't give a toss about you, writing about things that even they suspect make no sense.
Aquarius: Your airy temperament will come in handy this week as you release yourself from the cold comfort of your childhood superstitions and allow logic to start taking a bigger part in your thinking processes. Imagine you're in charge. You are, you know. Not the planets. They are very very far away and they don't care about you at all.
Pisces: A lot of people steer clear of you Pisces. They are aware of the fact that you have been known to take your star signs a bit too seriously. Maybe they're not to blame for that. Have you considered that the best way to make friends and form meaningful relationships is to get to know people, and not to categorise them according to a system that only allows for 12 sets of people, fated to play out the 12 sets of roles assigned to them by far away rocks in space, named after gods worshiped by iron age slave traders.